Archive | August 2015

Introducing YOU, Because YOU Matter!

 you matterDo you wake up in the morning thinking that you don’t matter?

Sometimes cancer can have that effect on people. Do you ever think, “Why should I even get up today, I mean nothing, I have no contribution to anyone or anything!”

If this is what you think every morning, YOU had better think again! YOU do matter!

YOU have been created in order that you DO make a difference, that you DO matter. Your feelings, thoughts and your spirit exist in no one else but you. Your life and what you do with it today, and in the future, will matter forever.

You don’t have to be rich or famous to make a difference in this world. There is no special knowledge needed, just your presence alone, can bring a smile to someone’s face. What really counts is how much of your heart you put into it. Love and happiness are two of the greatest gifts you can give.

What you do and who you are has an impact on the world. Without YOU, the world would be a very different place. Whether you are young or old, you matter and can make a difference.

You need to keep a positive attitude throughout your life. When someone does have a negative comment towards you, just remember, you don’t have to have another’s praise to affirm your own worth. Learn to embrace your strengths and even your weaknesses, use them to your advantage. We all have meaning and we all have something to give, our voice is meant to be heard and our heart, felt.

The way you perceive the world is different from anyone else, and that’s what makes you matter. No matter who you are, or where you come from, you are part of the bigger picture and you matter in creating a better future for the next generations to come.
A Story by Loren Eisely

“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”starfish

“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possible make a difference!”

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “It made a difference for that one.”

Know that one voice, YOUR voice, makes a difference and become the change you wish to see in the world.

Always remember, YOU can make a difference and, YOU matter!

YOU Choose To Take Control For A Happy Life!

This Is Your Life, You Choose It!
chooseThis is your life and you have the power to choose how it turns out. Sure, there are a lot of obstacles that come your way. Life can throw some major shit at you and you think you have no control over it.

Back to when I had cancer, I just wanted the doctor to cut it out and have it be gone. That is what I chose and thanks to God, The Universe or who ever you believe in, that is exactly what happened. Some of my friends were not so lucky. I had my best friend from high school die of cancer. She didn’t even get to see her grand baby be born.

It makes you wonder, WHY? Why her, why now? All you can do is think that they are needed in a different place, a better place, a happy, happy place. So, you’re probably thinking, “I’m sure she didn’t choose to die!” And you would be right, because you can’t control life and death, but you can control how you live it in-between.

You control what you’re doing right now, what you’ll be doing tomorrow and the next day. It’s hard for some people to swallow, but you are in the place you’re in right now because you choose to be there. Now I can really hear an argument coming!

“But, I didn’t choose my life to suck, I didn’t choose to be broke, I didn’t choose to get cancer. Some of your argument is correct and some is not. No one chooses to have cancer, but it was your choice if your life sucks. You need to take control and do something about it.

I, for one, have had many obstacles in my life, the biggest one of course was my breast cancer. In my adult life, my mom was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer, the Real Estate market crashed, I lost my home, my investments and all my savings.

After my cancer, I lost my step-daughter, she was only 31, whom I helped raise since age 6. What a blow that was and very unexpected! I not only had to stay positive for myself , but most importantly for my husband. After we retired she’d call him at least once or twice a week. Real hard not getting that phone call anymore or knowing you’ll never see her again. They say you’re suppose to go before your kids, I guess that’s not always the case.

The only way we can stay positive is to think that God needed someone with a big heart and lots of laughter up there, because that is exactly how she was, always making people smile and laugh. After all this, There was no way I was going to just sit around and whine and complain about how much my life sucked.

positiveI found a way to stay positive through out all of this. I read many motivational books, I looked at what I still had left, which was a huge blessing, and that was my husband, my mom, as she had beat lymphoma cancer, my kids, my grandkids all my family and friends. You have to look at what you still have in life and be grateful for that.

Maintaining Positive Emotions During Cancer!

emotionsKeeping your Emotions in tact is one of the hardest things to deal with after you’ve been told, “You Have Cancer!”

I believe because of my positive attitude I was able to keep my emotions in tact and beat the deadly disease of breast cancer.

Much of psychology and counseling focuses on how to regulate these negative emotions, such as, negativity, anxiety, depression, anger and stress.

Much of our life also includes the experience of positive emotions as well, and learning to regulate emotions such as joy, gratitude, and optimism. This is where thinking positive comes in to help. Try really hard to start looking on the bright side of things, always being in a happy state of mind.

Journal of Happiness!OhHappyDay

An article that was posted in the, Journal of Happiness Studies in 2007, reports that there are two main strategies when it comes to the regulation of positive emotions, and these include maintaining or prolonging, and increasing or enhancing, positive emotional experiences.
Maintaining

When we hear some great news, achieve something important to us, or experience something inspiring and uplifting, we need to find a way to make these feelings last. This helps us to get the most from positive emotions.

One thing that can be done is to simply share positive and pleasant news with others. As long as the other is willing to embrace and validate our positive feelings it gives us a chance to prolong them. Never share with a negative person, unless you’re ready for a negative feed back.

Learning to savor positive feelings and experiences can really help you experience extended positive emotions. A few ways to savor positive emotions is to anticipate the upcoming experience, appreciate and fully engage in the moment, and reminisce about the experience afterwards.

Enhancingbe greatful

When things are going well this is a great opportunity to boost and enhance our positive emotional experiences. Cultivating gratitude is one way to do this. Consider the blessings in your life and really appreciate all the good things you have. Everyday before you get out of bed, you should think of all the things you are grateful for.

For Instance: I’m grateful I am able to get out of bed. I’m grateful I can walk and talk. I’m grateful I can breathe. Maybe this seems silly to you, but these are every day things that most of us take for granted, as there are other people who struggle with simple things like breathing.

A short exercise that I learned, was to write on a piece of paper every day for twenty one days, three things that I am grateful for. Never repeating the same one twice. Try it for yourself, you will not believe how this one exercise will change your whole outlook on life.

Learning to find positive meaning and value when there’s stress and adversity in our life can also help us turn our emotional state around. Re-frame and reappraise situations with a positive outlook. Find the silver lining and any value that the situation offers.

Learning to be open to positive feelings is a major key to keeping these feelings alive. Remember to focus on past success that makes you feel proud and stay present in the moment. Do what you can to extract the most satisfaction from your positive feelings and you will find it easier to bounce back from negativity and keep positive throughout your day and throughout your life.

Cancer, The Deathly Black Beast! (Part 2)

BREST CANCER! (The Rest of My Story!) cancer ribbon
We walked out of the doctor’s office and I gave my husband a big hug, and told him I was sorry. I really felt I had let him down, and not because I had cancer, but having to go through this financial crisis. Even after the real estate crash took us down so hard, we we’re retired and enjoying life!
We decided to go back to our residence state of Oregon, as we were in Arizona at the time. Made an appointment with a cancer doctor and hit the road in our RV to start heading back to Oregon.
The oncologist told me I had two choices. One was to have a mastectomy or have a lumpectomy and radiation. I chose the latter. The surgery was scheduled, I was in and out the same day.
Then what I thought would be six weeks of grueling radiation treatments turned out to be not near as bad as I had heard. The staff at the hospital was so nice, and cheerful it made my treatments really easy. As easy as radiation can be on you. I think what else helped, is I continued to work, which took my mind off of things.
I can now state, “I’m cancer free, I am a cancer survivor!”
To be honest with you, fighting the cancer was the easy part for me. The hard part was the financial debt it put my family into, as I had no insurance. I really had to put the money part into perspective. It’s only money, I have my life back! And I truly believe I made it through cancer and I am now making it through this financial crisis because of having a positive attitude.
I believe there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and if you just look for the good, see that end result, picture your outcome and it will happen.
This doesn’t mean you don’t have to deal with real life and just bury your head in the sand. Because you do have to deal with life and all it’s obstacles. It just means you deal with it on your own terms. head in the sand
All day long every hour of the day we are confronted with situations where we must manage our emotions.
Your alarm clock didn’t go off and now you’re late for work, so you become stressed out. Someone cuts you off in traffic and you become very angry. You finally get to work and everyone is standing around the water cooler or coffee pot talking about how bad it is at work, nothing but negativity. We run into unexpected setbacks and need to manage stress, anger and the real ugly one, negativity every day of our lives.
Do you go on day after day and let these emotions control you? Or do you control them?
What’s your answer??question mark

Cancer, The Deathly Black Beast!

The deathly black beast, cancer! 

cancer ribbonCancer hits infants to seniors and everyone in-between, it has no mercy and is not particular on who it kills. I was diagnosed with cancer, my story:

I found a lump just above my breast. Breast cancer doesn’t run in my family, so that was the farthest thing from my mind. A few months went by and it was still there, still the same shape, so I told my husband. He told me that I’d better go see a doctor.

I tried making an appointment for a mammogram, but they told me I had to see a doctor first. The doctor checked me out and said it just looked like a cyst to her, but wanted me to have a mammogram and a ultra-sound to be sure.

The doctor called me and said the results were back and wanted me to come in to see her. “Can’t you just give me the results over the phone, I asked, I’m really busy!” “No, you need to come in“, she replied!

Got to the doctor’s office and wound up waiting for two and a half hours, it’s one thing not knowing, it’s another having to wait right there in the office for eternity. She finally called me in, and said, “I’m sure you know by now why I wanted to talk to you in person, you have breast cancer.” It’s in three different places.

I really felt nothing, expect ok let’s just cut it out and be done! I looked at my husband and he looked kind of shocked. A little pale, not looking so good. What’s our next step?

There are thousands of people that go through this.

I will finish this story in my next post. If you want to know more now, check out my book, click here!

6 Ways To Believe In Yourself

Never Give Up!

Never Give Up!

You’re going to Fail! You’ll never be good enough! What were you thinking? IN creeps the self-doubt. Most of these sayings are all because of listening to toxic people, including yourself! These thoughts you have, poison your mind into thinking everything is impossible to achieve. Especially when it comes to cancer, you have to stay positive.

Everyone says bad things about themselves in their heads. If this is you and you continue to do this to yourself or allow others to do this to you, your mind will become poisoned into a state of hopelessness. Stop sabotaging your own energy and don’t let others steal it. You need to start believing in yourself. Look at what you have already accomplished in your life and know that you can also, better your future.

1. Your Skills. Look at your skills, recognize them. You may not think that you have any skills, but you really do. Think of the things that people compliment you on. For instance, how nice you always look, the way you open a door for someone else, the way you can make others smile. Believe it or not these are all skills. Start looking at the things you do great now and then other things will become just as easy.

2. Your Failure. Yes, I’m sorry, but everyone does have failures in life. What makes the difference is, in the way you view them. Start viewing your failures as opportunities. The old saying is true, “If you don’t try, you will never succeed!” So stop worrying about failing at something and jump in with both feet. Believe you can do it and if it doesn’t work out, then chalk it up as a learned opportunity and do something else.

3. Your Mindset. It’s your mind, no one else’s. Give your mind permission to try something, even if you might get it wrong. If you don’t try, you’ll never move forward in life or make any progress. Your mind is a wonderful thing, use it and believe in yourself.

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve!” Quote: Mary Kay Ash

4. Your Voice. You have a voice, use it. Learn to speak up for yourself, your opinion matters just as much as anyone else’s. If you’re passionate about something then take control of the conversation. Don’t let others make you feel bad because of what you believe in.

Zig Ziglar quoted, “Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you!”

5. Your Help To Others. When we reach out and help others, we naturally feel better about ourselves. Helping others just brings a wonderful feel of self-fulfillment inside of us. When we get thanked for this, it boosts our confidence, which in turn makes us believe, WE do have value.

best friend6. Your Best Friend. Start becoming your own best friend. Most of the time you’re probably your worst enemy. Stop telling yourself how bad you look, how terrible you are at doing things, what a looser you are. Would you really tell these things to your best friend? I think not! You wouldn’t mentally abuse your loved ones or make them feel bad, so why would you do that to yourself? Start being kind to yourself, just like you would your best friend, know that you are a worthy person and give yourself some credit for that.

Jack Canfield said it best, “Self-esteem is a huge piece of my work. You have to believe it’s possible and believe in yourself. Because after you’ve decided what you want, you have to believe it’s possible and possible for you, not just for other people. Then you need to seek out models, mentors, and coaches!”